They took our baby away

Today we endure the loss of our furry baby. It was a hit and run and in a split of a second our lives are turn upside down. To the person that did this I wont lie and say I hope God bless you because that is not what my heart feels and I cant lie. You have no idea what you just did. This was much more than a dog it was my kids brother and my hubs and me baby. You took the joy of this family yes he was the only reason to smile in bad days the one little angel that will calm my husband anxiety thing that pills and doctors cant do. You took away my confident when I was alone , when i fight with hubs, when i  lost a child he was there comforting me with his little things. When we all came back home from work and school he will be so joyful of seein us and always receive us with a joy I can explain. No I cant say to you to be bless I want you to have a concience and be hunt by guilt the rest of your selfish life. Who will lay besides my kids when they are sick? Who will lick my tears away when I cry? Who will play with my husband night and day ? Who will fill this house with joy everyday? Do you have an idea what you cause? Imagine my autistic son saying ti me mom you had to check his heart bc sometimes when he lay down it looks like his dead, he had hopes hours after it happens and i had to tell him that was not the case that his little brother was dead. My baby girl fall asleep crying in the middle of the day and i coukd not find a way to fix their pain… Thats what you cause the most horrible pain to a family and no I wont lie im angry and if I could i beat you to untill i could not beat you anymore bc tiredness. I hope that your guilt is eating you and that you cant sleep at night. 

To my fur baby i hope your in heaven having fun making the angels laugh and being the awesome dog you always was go take care of the baby I lost and beside him wait for me mommy will be there with you both one day 

I LOVE YOU PEPE ARANDIA 

etopic pregnancy

I only knew of your presence for four short weeks,but the love I felt for you is just so deep;

I wish people could understand how I feel,

so lonely and heartbroken, I just can’t deal;

I try everyday to go on with this life,But it’s just so hard, I keep losing the fight; You were just what I wish for everyday, as I heard friends and family good news of miracles in their lives, but yet you were from me so quickly taken away;Sometimes I wonder why I’m so sad and depressed,and I’m soon reminded that in my heart you left an empty space; they say and say “it just wasn’t mean to be”, But I cant help to think of what a wonderful mommy I’d be;I just want to SCREAM, let the anger out, you see I’m just so torn when I think of how you would have been a blessing But I’ll go on with a smile on my face, whether It’s real or fake,because I can’t change that fact the you from me God had to take;but you will forever be in my mind and heart,but now I just cry and cry as I see my empty arms I never got to see your face Or even give you a name But in my heart, you hold a special place And for that, I would never be the same I’ll never hear you laugh or cry Or hold you in my arms tenderly I’ll never know the color of your eyes ,But I will still love you endlessly

       ~unknown author

Great day at an island!!

So as a mom I apreciated every second out of the house. Today we took the twiners to an island the adventure started by taking a small ferry and then hiking to get the beach. I cant say it was perfect of course kids got tired of walk and then winning as the day went on but over all it was an awesome day and we enjoy it