You know i see other moms so proud and rejoicing all over their kids accomplishments while im here in tears every day why? You may ask well Im that mom the mom of the problem child , the mom that medicate her kid so his teachers can tolerate him , im the mom that never get good news or comments about her kid, im the mom that fights with her kid everyday and he always go to bed mad at me, im the mom that doesnt get to enjoy the normal things a moms enjoy because her child always do something that wont allowed me to enjoy, im the mom that everybody judge bc how me being an educator have a child that dont behave, im that mom that 99 % of my child life is been a punishment, im the mom that sometimes is tired and want to quit being a mom , im the mom that struggle to find a positive thing about her child day , im the mom that pray every night for her son to change , im the mom that awaits for a miracle and know one day maybe her son will understand, im the mom that cry uncontrollably when she realizes that because everyday is a battle her child dont hear lots of praise but instead lots of punishment and reprimand, im the mom that beg for a day of wonderful accomplishments of her son, Im the mom that blames her self for her child conditions, im the mom that try everyday to be that perfect mom I know well im not, im the mom that is tired of discipline and that nOthing ever works, im the mom that secretly wishes for the day one teacher hugs her and say I know how hard you try just know dont judge you, im that mom the tired one , the mom that is a mistake with legs, the one that gets tired and sick but never said anything bc she knows it does not matter the battle still goes on like any other day, im the mom that hates the diagnosis but knows the symptoms and the behaviors are there and at the end of the IM THE MOM THAT LOVES HER CHILD UNCONDITIONALLY AND HURT AT THE FACT HER BABY IS NOT DOING WELL but still lost with no support and holding to the faith that one day I will get to be a normal mom …
Days of his life
Some days are better than others , some days are a total rollercoaster, and some days are just that a day in his life. My hero has a hit a hard season once again but moms here figthing this battle for both of us . Keep dreaming big buddy you will reach the stars. Is all perfect in ourlittle imperfectly perfect life 😍😘 
My perfect imperfect boy
He can be as goofy as me at times lol we are so much alike I was thinking about doing this and he well he did it hehehe
Your perfect imperfect world…
My son you are perfect for me. I know mom gets frustrated and at times ask more than you think you can do, yet YOU GOT THIS!!! and I have teach you that theres nothing imposible for you. I wish i could be part of that awesome mind of yours why? Ohh lets start by recognizing the huge intelligence you have, and then your heart lets not forget that amazing skill of making diagnoses look wrong 😉 SEE YOU GOT THIS!!! In fact i think I should be like you because I get upset and stay upset about weeks yet you can have a huge meltdown but once is done is that done like nothing happen. I love you my son and I know im far from perfect but im trying I am all I ask is for you to be patient with mom she is figuring out day by day your PERFECT IMPERFECT WORLD
The worst mom award for me….
Having kids with special needs can be overwhelming and more. I have been feeling horrible lately. Dealing with my internal self accepting that I will never be an honor roll mom or I will never see my children get selected for amazing awards at school. I was always 4.0 gpa at school and not being able to see this in any of my kids is hard. As a teacher is very but very hurtful seeing how brigth and great my 4 yr class is and that my my own children at the age of 9 are not even close to that. I dont know why i feel this way maybe i need more counseling that them. Every time i talk to a friend the first thing they say is some sort of techniques or advise to handle my ASD son and my I don’t understand anything daughter (yes bc she has no diagnosed yet but don’t understand anything including normal daily routines like going potty) I always listen and try but now I am at the point where I want to scream to everybody DONT YOU THINK I HAVE TRY THAT ALREADY??? I have done all the doctors , the teachers, the psychology has tell me to do even the people I randomly talk too advices I have try. But nothing work NOTHING and I am no longer efficient as a mom I fail and the sad thing is the twins are a reflection of my failure. How can I teach and work with all my students and get the best out of all them yet my own kids I cant.
Support? Ha thats a joke all I get is judgement from everywhere. Their dad is blah not support at all if it was for him I be in the looney house. That men wont listen to anything and his words are always “THE DOCTORS ARE INVENTING A NAME OR EXCUSE FOR EVERYTHING NOWDAYS” basically implying their not specialneeds their just brats. I feel like im done I pray every night and every night I cry. I need a turn in this whole situation I cant honestly say I am not happy. I look at them everyday and I want to be that mom yet im so fed up and frustrated maybe more like overwhelmed and stress out. Is a feeling of drowning in a deep hole where everyone pass by and see me there and push me more and more to the deep end. I hope my children dont see that and they know I love them because I do with all my heart and I wish i could make their life easier but I can’t unfortunately my genes apparently are defective and well they are paying the price. Is hard to feel this way is hard not to feel like I fail all i can see is that the worst mom award goes to me ….
A boy and his joy
We have our days , our ups and downs but he is my boy and his joy is my joy ! So proud of him the doctors say he has autism I call it BRILLIANT MIND 
Perfect imperfection…
last night daddy build this with legos and his boy can’t stop admiring it. Such a small thing have make my son so happy. Daddy does not get how much this mean IS JUST A PLANE OF LEGOS ha! But for his boy daddy is a hero a big super bad ass hero and in his boy eyes he is perfectly imperfect 😍😍😍
He doesnt look autistic! The words most parents hear every day..
This words gets me each time i hear them and I was the first one at times yet for the love of God HOW IS MY CHILD NEEDS TO LOOK.? This video reflects most of my thoughts when i hear them
My baby boy had a bad day :(
Today he start the morning as usual, but by 10 am summer school call he was not acting right I talk to him. His teacher wasnt there ohhhhh here we go Autism and the whole not accepting changes in routine. I explain to the teacher at the phone he dislike changes For God sakes he has an EIP does anybody read it ? She say but im here everyday is nothing diferent 😡😡😡 at this point I just want to scream at her yes but his teacher is not there so there is a change in routine. ugh what I have to deal with from time to time. When he came home I notice his mood yup one little thing will mess the whole full day. He was all upset and easy to get frustrated. From 2 pm to 8 pm I listen to tantrum after tantrum for stuff that normally he wont do that. He wasnt happy. As a mom I get frustrted of course, but I cant be mad either I know why he is this way. Sometimes I feel like im not a good mom because I can avoid this episodes or worst cant fix them when it happens. I love my son dont get it twisted Im just worried for him I want him to be able to function in society and this episodes are painful to watch as a mom. I know he can do it he does it everyday, yet routines have to be intact or else… And then theres the rest of the world watching critizicnin just trash talking my parental skills all because they see his meltdowns and dont even care to think that he migh might have a diagnose. But hey who cares my baby boy will be big and will amaze everybody because he has a mom that will not stop the fight and together we will beat all the odds 🙂
A kiss to my hero 💋
When a child is born, a mother is also born and with both a journey where together they discover a rollercoaster of emotions. This is my son he is 9 yrs old and he is autistic. He also has ADHD, partial deaf in one ear, cominication disorder, anxiety issues, and a reading disorder. He has the most wonderful and loving personality but he faces everyday one of the most challenging barriers ACCEPTANCE. In his short life this boy has experience rejection, moking, discrimination, and has been victim of many unfair situations. Regardless of all that he tries hard everyday to make friends. Last thursday he step of the school bus (summer reading) and I notice a sad face, I ask whats wrong? All he says was “he told me he wasnt my friend, he say it was just pretending” my heart just hurt for him but instead of saying means things about a child I dont know I told him well baby I know it hurts but at least he tells you the truth and now you know. Next day he came running happy and say “mom, he told me i am his friends that yesterday he was just mad” I smile but in my heart i was mad because I knew what was going on yet my son is not able to see all this malice on the world. Not long ago he came asking why he has white circles around the eyes and I say baby because you are my super hero. He reply mom I dont like when they laugh at me because of my eyes. Like this stories I have enought to make not one but two books and it just ocurred to me how much I have to learn about him. My son wakes up everyday and fight his battles at school not just academics but social wise too. He wakes up and try day after day without stopping to be accepted. He is unique and he embrace it, what other call autism I call it super duper self esteem. He knows what he wants and how he wants it. Once he is set up there is nobody changing his mind. He dont quit and even when he knows is almost imposible for him he keep the fight beating all diagnoses. But the most admirable thing my son has is , he loves to talk to God, he prays, he ask, and he seeks for information. The other day while I was having a moment of bear moma I say “ugh that child i cant stand it ” and my son says “mom you cant say that we are all brothers and sisters because of God” it took me a minute but I look at him and say sorry but mommy gets angry when they hurt my babies. Then he hugs me and say “I still love you mom” Even when I did something not good he still loves me… He was remind me how Gods mercy is for all of us no matter what. For many years I have been his hero and his shield but lately the roles are switch and he has become my hero why? He dont quit, he embrace him self, he is not scare of telling what he likes and what he dont, he is not aware of stereotipes and his heart and souls are inocent and full of love. Today I want to return to him MY HERO a kiss full of hope and expectations for him 🙂 because a diagnose in a paper wont stop this little fellow and his sidekick mom to conquer the world and for that I give this kiss to my hero …
keyfra how I see the world around me 
