Random thinking ย 

So i work out to learn how to be healthy. Every morning mon-fri I wake up at 5 am to do exercise and weekends honestly i do them but not quite as often because i want to play with my kiddos and go here and there. This weeken I didnt do my clean eating i went to the beach and sat down with my baby girl and ate a hole bag of sour cream lays ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ then went to a mexican reataurant and ate fajitas ๐Ÿ˜ฌ ,sunday it was again another fun filled day smores and home made burgers gallore but the kids had a blast and so did I.  Yesterday Monday was suposed to be a normal monday yet a weird case of vertigo hold me at the couch and bed all day bummer … Today still had vertigo and that is a big no no so exercise was skip , I tried to do in the afternoon but life got in the middle of me and the workout it is 9 pm and im here like omg i will get huge if dont work out!!! I feel fat and horrible yet i dont regret enjoying ny kids I wish there was a way to follow more closely my clean eating and yet be part of my family activities. I fell like an outsider at times because while they all celebrate with an icecream i have a bottle of water and while they eat pizza i eat veggies. Somedays i beg my husband (who needs to loose weight) to join me in this healthy style if eating but he refuses to his words are ” life is to short and im enjoying it” or ” i like my fat i wont stop eating” and dont get me wrong I love him but he is not healthy he just turn 30 not even a month ago and he already has blood pressure issues. I feel so apart from them at times it hurts is like i dont belong and i have already lots of not belonging after all I am a latina on an english speaking country that has been rejected plenty times because i dont belong to this country. Feeling like an outsider in my own family hurt but loving me is more important and i wont stop taking care of me because if dont take care of me nobody will. One day just one day i know God will give me the pleasure of belinging to my fam once again this time all in a healthy life style ๐Ÿ™‚   

Focus on your goals

I start in 2007 this Journey and it has been hard and it has been one of many tears when I tell people its possible is because I KNOW!!! I was 228 lbs in the pictures to the left and now who knows since i have learn not to see the scale but to see the changes in my body. I dont think I have it all together and I will never feel better than anybody because I know how it feels to want something but not being able to even dream about reaching that goal. I love all my friends but please listen ITS POSSIBLE!!!! You just have to love your self enough to be willing to change your living style is not about beauty is about health and that great feeling of saying I did it!! So please dont ever feel threaten by my success if anything feel inspired I was alone depress with a set of twins and hubs deploy and guess what I decided I wanted to love my self and I start working towards my goal I have had ups and downs and like I say tears had been cried but I have never quit WHY? Because when I quit Im only disappointing my self. I am real proof that you can do everything you really want and more THE SKY IS THE LIMIT!! I challenge you to start loving your self and finally take the step to the start of a new and better you ๐Ÿ™‚   

Scale numbers are my worst enemyย 

So Yes !!! I have lost so much weight is amazing but since im home bored 24/7 now for summer I noticed i have snack more than normal. I hadn’t weight my self since June because my clothes still fit well then one bathing suit ummm not fit quite the same and it’s from last year. I decided to check and it seems that my snacks are making me 8 lbs fatter nooooooooooooo. So here I am now back to strict diet and mad at myself I know how hard this will be. Why i let it happen just why? Guess is time to stop eating by emotions which is my biggest problem.