They took our baby away

Today we endure the loss of our furry baby. It was a hit and run and in a split of a second our lives are turn upside down. To the person that did this I wont lie and say I hope God bless you because that is not what my heart feels and I cant lie. You have no idea what you just did. This was much more than a dog it was my kids brother and my hubs and me baby. You took the joy of this family yes he was the only reason to smile in bad days the one little angel that will calm my husband anxiety thing that pills and doctors cant do. You took away my confident when I was alone , when i fight with hubs, when i  lost a child he was there comforting me with his little things. When we all came back home from work and school he will be so joyful of seein us and always receive us with a joy I can explain. No I cant say to you to be bless I want you to have a concience and be hunt by guilt the rest of your selfish life. Who will lay besides my kids when they are sick? Who will lick my tears away when I cry? Who will play with my husband night and day ? Who will fill this house with joy everyday? Do you have an idea what you cause? Imagine my autistic son saying ti me mom you had to check his heart bc sometimes when he lay down it looks like his dead, he had hopes hours after it happens and i had to tell him that was not the case that his little brother was dead. My baby girl fall asleep crying in the middle of the day and i coukd not find a way to fix their pain… Thats what you cause the most horrible pain to a family and no I wont lie im angry and if I could i beat you to untill i could not beat you anymore bc tiredness. I hope that your guilt is eating you and that you cant sleep at night. 

To my fur baby i hope your in heaven having fun making the angels laugh and being the awesome dog you always was go take care of the baby I lost and beside him wait for me mommy will be there with you both one day 

I LOVE YOU PEPE ARANDIA 

Focus on your goals

I start in 2007 this Journey and it has been hard and it has been one of many tears when I tell people its possible is because I KNOW!!! I was 228 lbs in the pictures to the left and now who knows since i have learn not to see the scale but to see the changes in my body. I dont think I have it all together and I will never feel better than anybody because I know how it feels to want something but not being able to even dream about reaching that goal. I love all my friends but please listen ITS POSSIBLE!!!! You just have to love your self enough to be willing to change your living style is not about beauty is about health and that great feeling of saying I did it!! So please dont ever feel threaten by my success if anything feel inspired I was alone depress with a set of twins and hubs deploy and guess what I decided I wanted to love my self and I start working towards my goal I have had ups and downs and like I say tears had been cried but I have never quit WHY? Because when I quit Im only disappointing my self. I am real proof that you can do everything you really want and more THE SKY IS THE LIMIT!! I challenge you to start loving your self and finally take the step to the start of a new and better you 🙂   

He is my safe place 

Is amazing how much a furry baby can do for you. The day we got this dude I was like 3 months prego and he has been  always by my side since. When the twins where born he protected them and as the years go by if my son is sick or there is something wrong this dog will not leave his side. I can say in words how much this dog means to me. The day I lost my baby he knew something was wrong with mama and stay by me untill I could not cry nomore and fall asleep. Again since that horrible day he is my safe place when im sad I need him I want to hug him and be with him. The only issue with this is what will happen the day he leaves earth ? Lets not think about it now. All I know is that I LOVE MY FURRY BABY  😍

 

I am the worst friend ever …

Im a horrible friend …

This morning i was mad with a friend.how is she texting everybody but me to let them know she had her baby?? Why if i introduce her to our friend she is closer with her than with me? And then the news of her in critical condition in the hospital hit my Facebook wall 😦 I feel like I dont deserved to have her as a friend. I was very but very childish and life is showing me that I was the bad one because of ridiculoud Jelousy and my selfish prideness. All I want is a second chance to be the friend I know I can be. And now im reflecting in one major thing I need to work on my pride and stubbornness. 

This is how I feel today

I only knew of your presence for four short weeks,
but the love I felt for you is just so deep;
I wish people could understand how I feel,
so lonely and heartbroken, I just can’t deal;
I try everyday to go on with this life,But it’s just so hard, I keep losing the fight; You were just what I wish for everyday, as I heard friends and family good news of miracles in their lives, but yet you were from me so quickly taken away;Sometimes I wonder why I’m so sad and depressed,and I’m soon reminded that in my heart you left an empty space; they say and say “it just wasn’t mean to be”, But I cant help to think of what a wonderful mommy I’d be;I just want to SCREAM, let the anger out, you see I’m just so torn when I think of how you would have been a blessing But I’ll go on with a smile on my face, whether It’s real or fake,because I can’t change that fact the you from me God had to take;but you will forever be in my mind and heart,but now I just cry and cry as I see my empty arms I never got to see your face Or even give you a name But in my heart, you hold a special place And for that, I would never be the same I’ll never hear you laugh or cry Or hold you in my arms tenderly I’ll never know the color of your eyes ,But I will still love you endlessly

~anonymous